Human Authentic Connections In Your Sales Using Behavioural Targeting

Human Connections in your Sales using Behavioural Targeting

Written by Kalleigh O'Togher

Kalleigh is the founder and CEO of Zealous Social.  Her expertise in marketing comes from 15 years of serving mid-size businesses in the trades, services and retail industries.

August 31, 2020

How to get more qualified leads using emotional brand intelligence (E.B.I.) to open new opportunities.

Table of Content

How this E.B.I. Guide will impact your life and business:

  • Have a process that consistently generates leads
  • Understand why this is “really” happening
  • Understand how to emotionally connect with people (leads)
  • Get in front of the “right” people, not just anyone
  • Be able to enjoy it because it’s in alignment with who your business is

Too many business owners say they hate trying to find customers, are overwhelmed or don’t know where to start. We’ve all been there. This guide will help you get beyond those feelings and become a positive rather than a negative force in your business.

We’ll show you how to emotionally connect with people (leads). 

The common vocabulary in the industry is to use the word leads, but we like the word ‘people’ instead because it’s people you want to buy your products or services. 

Your message needs to connect with other human beings. It’s not an abstract thought; it’s your business’s reality, no matter what type of business you have.

Simply put, EQ (emotional intelligence) allows people to tap into their audiences and deliver consistent branding and content.

Mastering emotional intelligence (EQ) means you’re able to pay attention to things like your brand tone and the way your audience engages with similar brands.

Understanding these nuances allows you to know how this strategy affects marketing.


Human to Human connection

  • The internet is a way for humans to connect on a human level with other human beings from all around the world.
  • You don’t need automation or mass messaging – Empathize & educate!
  • People crave real connections with real people in 2020 – we want to help you set up for the next decade, not the last one.

Now, consumers, especially millennials, are much more likely to buy brands that embody their personal and political values.

Not surprisingly, this shift also requires a shift toward more sensitive, emotionally intelligent marketing.


E.B.I. Definition:

Emotional Brand Intelligence (EBI) – according to Wikipedia, is the ability to discern between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour.

With emotional intelligence, you can grow your brand intelligently, resulting in ‘consistent’ leads, prospects, business and clients, leading to ultimate business growth. Increase revenue by guiding your audiences thinking about your products and services and their purchasing behaviour.

This way of doing business will help you realize you need more than old strategies, tips, and tricks in today’s changing consumer requirements.


What we want you to learn from this guide:

  1. Emotional Brand Intelligence (E.B.I.) – Why automation is killing sales and E.B.I. works much better, it’s more authentic and consistently brings in quality leads ‘ready to buy’.
  2. Emotional Intelligence and High Performance – Why you need to understand yourself and your business at a deeper level to grow and scale with focus and consistency. 
  3. Building from zero – Even if you have a brand new business or no audience, using E.B.I. will show you how you can grow and profit from this strategy in a practical, authentic way – not some quick rich scheme that doesn’t work but costs you a lot of time and money.

1. Emotional Brand Intelligence (EBI) – Why automation kills sales and EBI works to get you ‘ready to buy’ qualified people consistently.

There is a lot of software out there that tells you that if you use their automated sales messages, they will scour sites like LinkedIn and bring you leads. You can just sit back, and the sales calls will come to you. How many times have you seen these messages? Too many. I know I have. 

The reality is they don’t work. Sending a thousand messages to random people ‘hoping’ they’ll call you for your product or service is like trying to shoot at fish in the water randomly. Have you tried it? Well, I can tell you that your chances of catching your meal for the day are about the same as using these generic sales messages to get leads. You’re going to be hungry and feel defeated and wondering, “what do I do now?”. And when you get to this point, many people give up on their business, believing they just can’t make it work. That’s the wrong attitude. With the right strategy, you can turn it around and achieve the goals you need to succeed. 

The #1 Problem with Automation Programs

Thousands of others are also using them to do the same thing you are, trying to get the same leads, the same way. 

So, what sets you apart from the rest of them? Nothing. 

All you end up doing is making sure your messages end up in SPAM folders or, in some cases, bad reviews, and Google and your email program providers track these. 

If you send too many emails that get marked “Spam,” many email companies will block your email account, believing you’re just phishing people and not legitimate businesses. It’s not good business practices and severely hurts your brand’s reputation.

You may have seen some good results before. Still, you’re now seeing a considerable decrease in traffic/leads and email open rates even though social platforms are still growing, and people are using them consistently. The disconnect is that you have to have an EBI strategy, not a generic one. 

Consumers dislike this automated approach on any platform. They want ‘genuine’ connections, not robotic messages that they know were randomly sent out to thousands. You’ll often get a message back from potential leads saying “stop messaging me” or “I’m not interested” or they block you. 

It’s not that they aren’t interested in your product or service; they most likely are. People don’t appreciate your generic, random message. They want relationships with companies they do business with, even if you’re not trying to pitch them in the first message. Why? Because they don’t know you.

Rejection is Hard to Receive

Getting these types of messages is hard to receive. It makes you start to question your skills and belief in yourself and your business. No matter how many times people tell you just to let it wash over you when you get a lot of these types of messages, you start to take it personally. It’s damn hard not to.

Entrepreneurs start to self-sabotage. They get stressed, anxious and worried. They start having doubts in themselves, their confidence is shaken, and it starts to impact their relationships and family. How are they going to make money and increase their business? Nothing is working. They aren’t getting sales. Their brand’s reputation is taking a hit. How do they turn this around and fix this?

One of the first steps you can take is to go back to your prospects and personally send them a message to ask them, “Why did you send me that message” or “why are you ignoring me.” You’d be surprised at how many will respond and give you an honest answer. You’ll probably get a 60-80% response rate. Why? Because you are sending a personal message and asking for their feedback. You value their opinion and want them. 

From those responses, you’ll find they fit into three categories: 

  1. I get so many of these spam messages every day. I’m not interested.
  2. I’m not looking for/thinking about (your product or service) right now. But thank you for the message.
  3. I can’t take you seriously when you send automated messages. Who the hell are you?

Most of the responses probably won’t be as nice as this, but I’m paraphrasing to get the points across. 

Now, what do you do with this information? You start doing things differently.

Move Away from Lead Generation Programs

Move away from using lead generation programs that scrape for generic leads or trolling social media accounts to message randomly. You don’t have a connection to these people, so you’re wasting your time and energy. 

I’m not saying you won’t get any business. I can’t predict that, but I can say that the overall value of this type of strategy isn’t worth it. You’re not going to get real data like their shopping habits, business needs, hobbies, inclinations to buy, etc. You need to target them appropriately and get genuine leads for your business.

Focus on ways to identify where people are and what they were focused on when they purchased from you before. Track their behaviour on your website and social media channels so you can see the process they take. Where do they go, what do they do, who do they interact with, and how do they interact with them? Check out your competitors. What are they doing that you’re not? Where are they that you’re not?

You should be using your Google Tags and Facebook Pixels on your website. You can install programs like Hotjar or Lucky Orange to track visitor activity from when they land on your site until they leave.

Where focus goes, energy flows.

Tony Robbins

Connect on a human level with your prospects using E.B.I.

This means NO…..

  • Automation sequences – Cutting and pasting the same generic message to every person/business.
  • Unqualified prospects – Sending out to everybody in an area, industry, age group, etc. – no specific targets.

>> Read How to Create Targeted Buyer Personas for Your Business to narrow this down.

  • Sending content – Fluff pieces (no informational/educational value) with sales pitches or overwhelming their inbox with way too many emails that end up annoying your target market and reporting you as spam.
  • Pitching – Requests for sales right off with zero relationships built up.
  • Numbers – Treating your prospective customers like numbers (generic – no individuality)

>> Read 8 Steps to Increase Your Sales for sales strategies.

You need to make each message personal based on their habits, interests, needs, language, etc. You’re letting them know you’ve taken the time to start to get to know them and want to develop a relationship with them, not sell them.

This mind shift of putting the “personal” in your sales efforts will change the way you do business and how quickly your business grows and maintains customers. You’ll build not only your profits but brand loyalty.

2. Emotional Intelligence and High-Performance Attitude Mind Shift

To grow and scale your business, you need to be focused, consistent and understand your business at a deeper level. Ask yourself these questions:

  1. What is your business? I don’t mean you sell t-shirts. I mean, who are you? 
  2. What’s your business really about? 
  3. Why did you get into the business? 
  4. What are your 1, 3 and 5-year goals? 

Once you get a real grasp of your business, you can fine-tune your brand messaging and who your target market is. 

Listen to Your Customers

I’ve worked for several companies doing sales, marketing, and operations for over 20 years. I decided to open my agency in 2014 because I had a real desire to help business owners stay open. I hated seeing empty storefronts, warehouses and restaurants and knowing that many of them closed because they didn’t structure their business correctly. They didn’t keep up with today’s consumers and adapted, and they didn’t put the right strategies in place. 

Years ago, I took a part-time job at Sears as a Merchandiser when I decided to go back to school and upgrade my skills before opening Zealous Social. We all know Sears went bankrupt, but the writing was on the wall for over a decade. I saw it and told my coworkers that Sears would go bankrupt before 2020. Sadly, I was right. Why was I right? Because I could see the problems in our store and why we weren’t getting the customers to buy from us. 

Sears didn’t talk to or ask their customers. They ignored what their customers were doing. If they had taken the time to have real conversations with their customers and build those relationships, they would have had insights on where they were failing and what was needed. Today’s social world makes it easier for companies to do this by building relationships and listening.

Every interaction you have with your target market should be relationship-based, no sales based. 

I know many people reading this are saying to themselves, ‘but I need the sales.’ Yes, you do, but you can’t get the sales without relationships. When you go into a store to buy something, why did you? Why would you go back? Same for services. You go back because they provided value. The best stores/service businesses help you. They don’t sell to you. Through assisting you, they get the sales.

I love Home Depot. Why? Because every time I go in there, their staff are always helping me. They answer my questions, help me find the right product (even if it’s the cheapest) and never try to upsell or give me a sales pitch. Their focus is on helping you with what you need, not what they can sell you. They’ve built a relationship of trust with me, so I keep going back and buying from them. I’m a loyal customer. 

I’ve always been a Ford girl. I love Ford SUVs and trucks. I needed a new vehicle, so the first place I went to was my local Ford dealership. While I was there, I got such a hardcore, sales-focused pitch that I left and bought a Hyundai. Why? Because they didn’t listen to me and what I needed. They just kept trying to sell me a vehicle I didn’t want. Hyundai took the time to listen and make sure the car I bought was the one I wanted/needed. They didn’t try to push the most expensive when the mid-level had what I was looking for. 

So Ford turned me off from buying from them, and I went to their competitor. They lost a loyal customer because they were sales-focused, not relationship-focused.

In today’s consumer market, it’s not hard to lose customers if you’re not providing value and building relationships. There is a lot of competition out there for the same business.

Entrepreneur Mindset

Entrepreneurs are generally compulsive, impatient and competitive.

They want it all now, and when it doesn’t happen overnight, they quickly start to self-sabotage and many end up quitting. Building a business takes time, dedication, consistency, and strategy. You’re going to hit roadblocks. It’s how you handle those roadblocks that prove you have what it takes to succeed in the long term.

Anyone who tells you that you can make 6, 7 or 8 figure incomes in 8 weeks following their “course” is full of B.S. There are so many scams out there for money-making schemes, and everyone wants the dream of it, but most actually won’t put the real work in to make it. Because it’s hard work and it takes time, patience, consistency, and the right mindset. 

Invest in your personal growth while building your business by taking courses, getting a mentor or changing your thought process. Your mindset is a massive part of your success or failure.

The Top 5 Mindset Blocks in Business:

  1. F.E.A.R. – False evidence appearing real – Fear of what your friends or family will say, fear of failure, fear of your competitors, fear of rejection, fear not being good enough, fear of success….
  2. Lack of Confidence – or false confidence. Real confidence comes from a place of knowing, inner self-worth. False confidence is the outward appearance of real confidence but not based on your real inner belief of yourself. Imposter Syndrome is another word for it.
  3. Inability to stay focused – Your mind is too busy with thoughts, but you take no actions.
  4. Anxiety, stress, worry – Focused on ‘what could’ or ‘what was’ instead of ‘what is.’ Can’t sleep, feeling sick, lethargic.
  5. Time Management – procrastination is the #1 block for most

At one point or another, we’ve all felt one or more of these mindset blocks. I know I have. Mine was fear. I feared when I opened my business, what others would think of me and was I good enough to succeed. I had left a successful career, gone back to school for the courses I needed and then opened my business. Many of my friends and family didn’t believe I could make a living doing digital marketing for businesses.

I had to overcome my fear of growing my business. I knew I was good enough and had the skills and experience to do it, but I still self-sabotaged in the beginning because my fear was holding me back. Thankfully, I had a great mentor/friend that asked me some direct questions about my business and goals and what I was doing to achieve them.

I had to take a good hard look at what was stopping my business from growing. I was. Once I identified the problem, I overcame it and tripled my income in the first year and have kept growing every year since.

Once you’ve identified what your block is, you can work on overcoming it. The more you grow and overcome your own blocks, the more your business will grow. You’re the driving force behind your business, and if you don’t deal with your mindset blocks, you’ll stunt your business’s success.

Now in business we, as owners, have personal KEIs (Key Emotional Indicators):

Emotions and Your Triggers to those Emotions

  • Anxiety – Looking at your bank account / # of Leads – Doing it daily.
  • Anger – Partner / Business – Not supportive / Not growing.
  • Fear – Client Messages – Bad Reviews / Refund Requests.

They are part of our mindset blocks that affect our business operations and growth. Once you identify them, you can change your mindset to overcome them and move in a positive direction towards the outcome you’re trying to reach in your business.

Thought > Belief = Identity 

If you think you’re not good enough, it becomes the belief, and once you believe you’re not good enough, it becomes your personal identity. You need to shift this cycle into positives. 

The more you’re aware of your KEIs, the more you will grow and replace them with positives. Then you can truly build and grow your business. As the business owner, you are the driver and navigator, so you, your actions and beliefs, determine where it goes. 

You won’t be standing in your own way to success, and you’ll become that “high performance” owner you dreamed you would be when you opened your business. 

They work alongside your business KPIs (Key Performance Indicators).

3. Building from zero

KPIs are Key Performance Indicators – they are quantifiable goals that help you track and measure success. You need to set expectations and then prove, through data, that what you are doing is having a positive impact on your business.

In marketing, KPIs measure visits to your website and social media channels and the conversion ratio of leads into sales.

We generally see these two scenarios in businesses that don’t succeed:

  1. Your website is all about your services/products; you pay thousands of dollars for ads that don’t target the right audience, continually post on social media with no clear message, and write generic blogs.
  2. You put up a cheap website that turns visitors away, post sporadically on social media without clear messages, have no blogs to provide value, and have no money for ads. You don’t try to find other, free, ways to promote your business, yet you stress and complain that you can’t find customers.

What do both of these have in common? The business isn’t geared towards helping their customers with their pain points and providing value. They aren’t getting any leads or sales because their message is wrong. It’s all about them, the business owner, and what they (their business) can do for their customer, in some generic way that does nothing to get their business to stand out from the crowd.

Messaging on a Human Level

Your message has to connect with people on a human level. Don’t be a billboard telling people what you do. Instead, make your message about how or why you can help them. 

Your website, social media posts, and blogs need to speak to your customers, not at them. They are looking at you to solve their problem, not hear about you. This is where so many businesses fail. They’re sending out messages about who they are, what they do, what they sell. How does this help their customers? It doesn’t. 

You need to be addressing their pain points. Whether it’s ill-fitting clothes, home reno issues, real estate purchasing questions, starting a fitness plan, parenting issues, etc. You get the idea.

Customer Pain Points

Every single industry has pain points for their customers. Find yours and address that in your messages. Make it personal to your customers. When they read your messages, it should evoke the response of “Yes, exactly. That’s my problem,” or “That’s what the solution/answer is to my problem.” 

People are jaded now. They get too many messages from companies that talk about themselves. They want companies to talk about them. They want to feel a connection. So be that company. Stand out from the crowd by talking directly to your customers, build that relationship with them and provide real value. They want to know you’re going to help them, not just spam them with useless emails or social posts in their feeds that don’t provide them with anything they need. Lead them through the process to come to their own conclusions about what you do and what you offer. That’s good EBIs (emotional brand intelligence).

Easy to Navigate Touch-points

Once you align all your messaging in the right way, make sure that all your touchpoints (websites, social media accounts, and sales funnels) are easy to navigate and guide them through becoming your customer. Don’t give them great messaging and then lose them through the sales cycle. 

Make sure that your website is user-friendly. Can your customers navigate it, find what they are looking for and does it load quickly? Is your call to actions (CTA) front and center? Are your menu options easy to understand? Is your SEO done correctly, so your website is the one Google shows when looking for answers or a business like yours?

Do your social media accounts have a clear call to action – can they quickly contact you or purchase from you? Are you using the right social platforms for your particular business?

Are you blog posts answering your customers’ questions? Are they written with keywords and headings structured properly, so they show up in Google search results? Are you posting them where your customers are so they can find them?

Everything you do needs to be about your customer, not you. Stop talking about yourself and your business. 

Connect with Your Customers

Connect with your customers by building real connections. Think of your marketing as a way to have a conversation with them. If you talked to someone, you’d be asking questions and having a conversation, not “Hi. I’m Sue, and I want to sell you XYZ because I’m the best and you want it”. 

That’s what most websites, social media posts and blogs do. They just try to sell you. If someone came up to you like that, you’d think they were an egotistical ass, and you’d walk away. That’s the impression you’re giving online as well. Start thinking about your marketing in terms of real-world conversations and start having them.


Try these tips out and let us know if they work for you. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact us at

Our goal is to help businesses stay in business for the long run, not short term. Check out our other blog posts for more sales and marketing tips and recommended tools to help your business grow.

Are you stuck on how your messaging, website and social accounts come across to your potential customers? We have several different types of account auditing services that will pinpoint all your weak areas and provide advice on how to fix them, so you’re doing EBI. If you’re interested, schedule a time to chat with us.

Here’s to your success in 2020!

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